My Rotten Roses

I see the light rose
Light pink and red
A lush ribbon
Gently flattering
Sprouting aloft
The green leaved bed
I see no thorns
I am delighted
I rejoice in
The disarming splendor
Nourishing my nostalgic
Heart that associates
Floral borders
Making the best out of it
Being happy with the little you have
Even though you know
It is too late to go back
To the muted needs
Too late to switch on the radio
And enjoy the choices
That have been made
For you
Song selections and
Family constellation
The leftover dishes
I throw away
With an aching heart
I want to make it rot
Inside of me
I want to erase the desire path
To pleasures that are not mine
I want to speed up
The shrinking and dying
Of everything I have learned
Inside of me
Even though I will rot and die as well
Which I am not
Because that is what they want me to believe
Which I don’t
It is part of the extraction
I want to make it rot
Before they can harvest
What they claim to be my sanction to live
Belonging to them, my debt
I made it mine.

My rotten roses
Don't have to be beautiful
Don't have to smell good
Don't have to please gazes
Of desires that is not theirs

My rotten roses
Don't have to turn
Towards the sun
Don't have to leave
The safeguarding shadow
Don't have to leave the night

My rotten roses
Don't have to be obedient
Don't have to smile
Don't have to be calm

My rotten roses
Don't have to keep secrets
Don't have to do the feeling for others
Don't have to love their body

My rotten roses

Shriveled roots
Sheltered deep inside
My reproductive body
Every functional performance
Every soft and mute smiling
Feeds the thorns
Growing sharp and dense
Until they break out
Until I give birth
To the deadly teeth
Of my rotten roses.